


Blue Moon Witches

by allislaughter



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Magic, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2018-02-23 09:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2542436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allislaughter/pseuds/allislaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benjamin Chu, a thirty-year-old retired astronaut with a baby face, relocates to a sleepy town after an accident in space left him grounded. After a chance meeting with two of his neighbors, he finds himself being dragged into their world, just in time for strange things to begin happening around them that seem to relate to the space accident against all odds...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Flickering Light

Space held a mystery, a majesty, one he longed to study and help pave the way for others to study, but as the circumstances held, he was ground bound not long into his career. An accident with his space helmet left his life as cracked as the helmet now sitting on a shelf in his closet, and so he was now in a sleepy town, a far cry from the bustling suburbs he grew up in, trying to piece back together his life one shard at a time.

The first shard: keep it a secret how things could float around him ever since the accident. He still analyzed the possibilities for that in his spare time, whether he had exposure to some sort of weird space radiation or something crazy like that. A sudden "telekinesis" as it seemed did not ring "normal" but all things had a scientific explanation, and he'd either find out the secret or let it die out with him, since none of his colleagues seemed to exhibit the same symptoms. At least he could cast out the idea that his new-found ability could be the reason the Space Corps execs decided to force an early retirement his way. Had they known about him, they wouldn't let him out of the Space Corps; they'd keep him under lock and key for study.

The second shard: keep busy or go crazy. It didn't matter what he did. Clean, work on model spaceships, cook the occasional burnt toast… Just as long as he didn't let himself _think_. Thinking often followed trains to the station of self-doubt. He didn't need to think about why they fired him, why he wasn't allowed in space anymore, nor did he need to focus on just how the "Space Logic", as he decided to call it, happened when he wasn't actually setting aside the time for that self-study. The former destinations left him feeling sick each time, and the latter just ate at his free time until he realized it was three in the morning and he had been doing different tests and analysis for over six hours.

The third shard: interact with people. It didn't matter who, it didn't matter how or where, just so long as he kept in contact with other human life, held conversations on a regular basis, have a way to remind himself he was safe on Earth, and keep him tethered. He couldn't stay in the house too long at a time, and he found that he had ways to cope with the second shard at the same time as the third. In the small-ish town, where most people heard by word of mouth that an astronaut lived in that small blue house in the middle of Cherry Tree Lane, he often had young children waiting on his front porch for stories about space or his other adventures after school, or he had requests from adults asking for help fixing various things as if his astronaut expertise left him a master at electrical and plumbing work as well as technology and basic repairs.

He had enough skills to know how to look up anything he needed to know, at the very least, and so he quickly became something of the neighborhood handyman. It gave him something to do, it gave him the much needed interaction, and it led to learning how to do new things, which was always a good thing in his mind.

It was much better now that most people knew who he was and the rest didn't care. Between his size and his young face, most people didn't think at first glance that he was a thirty-something-year-old retired astronaut instead of some random teenager trying to live on his own. He heard on multiple occasions how growing facial hair would help, but he found himself growing it in itchy patches instead of anything useful and so he often ended up shaving it in the end. Barely over five feet tall, something of a space oddity, and not aided by the fact he frequently used some form of 80s slang, but people knew him now, and that's what mattered.

At the current moment though, as his thoughts started to derail into dangerous territory, he knew he was in major need of some sort of interaction, but he couldn't bring himself to talk to kids or bother anyone that didn't need his help.

He noticed a flicker, once, then twice, from the corner of his eye, and he turned, spying a man on his front porch fussing over the ceiling light, his knees in one of the rungs on the ladder as he fiddled with the light with one of his gloved hands. The man had his brow furrowed intently over his large, round glasses, and he certainly dressed for fall with his black jacket with a fluffy collar.

He hummed, noting he hadn't met that man before, and he walked up to the fence and leaned on it. "Excuse me?" he called over to the man.

The man looked at him and let go of the light to smile and wave. "Hello! May I help you?"

"I was about to ask you!" he laughed. "Need help with that light? You're trying to make it stop flickering, right?"

"Yes, that's right," the man nodded. "I'm not sure what you can do, but I suppose you're welcome to try."

"Be right there!" he called pushing himself up and over the fence, forsaking the gate in his eagerness and only flinching after he landed that the graceful jump would be seen as odd to those who couldn't float at will. He recovered and bounded up to the porch just as the man stepped down from the ladder, and he looked up at him, estimating a good six or seven inches between their heights. "I'm Ben, but you can call me Benny."

"I'm… Oh, well, I go by Good, I suppose," the man, Good, chuckled. "So you think you can stop this pesky thing from flickering?"

"Maybe," Benny grinned. "Do me a favor and shut off the switch for a moment?"

Good hummed and stepped just inside the door. He moved his hand to the inside wall, and the light shut off just after. Benny climbed the ladder until he was high enough to reach and screwed the bulb in slightly tighter.

"Turn it back on for a moment?" he asked. Once the light came back on, it stayed bright for a few seconds before returning to flickering. "Hmm, okay," he said. "Off please." He then gingerly unscrewed it completely and took out the bulb to inspect it. When he was done, he handed it to Good, who stumbled to catch it when he let go too soon as he climbed the ladder higher to look at the socket.

"Is that a new bulb?" he asked as he took another step higher.

"Yes," Good answered. "The last one flickered as well, and I hoped changing it would fix it."

"Well, the socket looks fine," Benny told him, setting his knees at the top of the ladder. "So it might be a wiring problem. I could probably fix that for you, but I'd need to get my tools and get you to shut off the power while I work on it."

"Oh, no, I couldn't possibly…" Good's eyes darted to the ladder. "Benny, should you really...?"

"Hmm?" Benny peered at Good and then down at the ladder beneath him. "Oh, yeah, that's not particularly safe is it?"

"No, I'd say not," Good answered.

"A taller ladder would be useful for someone like me, huh?" Benny chuckled as he set his hands down and worked his way to a safer position. "Alright, we can keep the bulb in for now, but I recommend not using this light until the problem is fixed. If it is a wiring problem, it could be a safety hazard."

Good nodded and handing the bulb back over and watched Benny screw it back in before sliding down the ladder again. "Amazing how someone your age knows so much about electricity. But don't worry. I heard that there's a nice astronaut a street or two over that is very handy about this kind of thing."

Benny pulled a tight smile. "Yeah. I know. I, uh… Happen to _be_ that astronaut."

"What?" Good looked over him, his eyes wide in surprise. "Oh, goodness me-"

"Is that a pun?" Benny interrupted.

"What?" Good repeated, this time staring at him, confused. "Oh! No, I… Would you believe no one pointed that out to me before, about me using that phrase with my nickname? But I hadn't realized when they said the nice astronaut looked young that he… Really?"

"Benjamin Chu," he answered, holding out his hand. "Look it up if you have to, but I am totally that astronaut, dude- I mean, Good."

Good smiled, giggling lightly, and shook Benny's hand. "Nice to meet you, Benny. Would you like to come in for some tea?"

"I'd love to," Benny answered, beaming. Good stepped aside for him to enter, and he did so, glancing around the front room as soon as he made it inside. There appeared to be a contrasting mix of decor, with half of it frilly or cute and the other half in traditional, almost "mature" styles compared to the first half.

"As you can imagine, I don't live here alone," Good chuckled as he shut the door behind them. "Bad, my brother, is upstairs right now, though. This way to the kitchen, Benny. I'll have the kettle boiling in just a moment."

"Oh, you're _brewing_ tea," Benny laughed. He followed after Good and took a seat at the kitchen table once it was offered to him. "That's new. Normally people have been giving me iced tea."

"It's such a cool day today," Good answered as he pulled out a kettle and filled it with water from the tap. "You're already dressed for it, with that sweater on…"

"Hoodie, more like," Benny answered as he tugged on the hood on his royal blue, Space Corps hoodie. "You're right though, it's cool enough for my ears to be better off with the hood up, but I look enough like a kid already, don't I?"

"I wouldn't say that," Good answered, his back facing Benny as he worked at the stove.

Benny pulled off the hood and let himself float a few inches while Good's back was turned to be able to see over the counter at him. "And how old did you think I was, hmm?"

"You look young," Good answered. "But not like a child."

"Thirty-something looking like a teenager," Benny sighed. "Maybe I should grow a beard, if only I could get it to actually _grow_ better." He noticed Good turning around and quickly dropped back onto the seat with only a small _papf_ as he hit the cushion on it.

"I could help with that," Good told him as he poured the water into three mugs. He pulled out a box of tea bags and set one in each mug. "I know a few tonics for hair growth…"

"Do they actually work?" Benny asked. "I've not heard of anything that'd work for facial hair, and the whole 'fast growth' for scalp hair is just a myth…"

"It works, I assure you," Good answered, bringing two of the mugs to the table. "I know what I'm doing, after all."

Benny lifted his brow. "You, dude? You made those 'tonics' or whatever?"

Good nodded. "Is that so odd…?"

Benny took the mug once it was handed to him and peered into it at the teabag steeping inside the water. "A little, yeah. I'd like to know just what's in the tonics and how they work before you try to pass any onto me."

"Hmm…" Good shook his head. "Sugar? Lemon? Honey?"

"What kind of tea?" Benny asked, pointing at his cup. "Black? Green?"

"Herbal," Good answered.

"Ah. Flavor?"

"Apple cinnamon…"

Benny shrugged. "Suits the season, explains the smell. Sugar, please. Do you think milk would make it taste like pie?"

"I, uh… Wouldn't try…" Good hummed and wandered back into the kitchen. "You're welcome to, if you'd like."

"Fine with me." Benny nodded.

Good nodded and fetched what they needed, and soon they had their teas flavored as they liked. Good watched from over the top of his mug as Benny blew on his before taking a test sip of it.

"A little weird, but not bad," Benny nodded.

"Really?" Good asked, setting down his mug. "May I…?"

Benny passed his over and let Good take his own test sip. Good's eyebrows shot up and he smiled.

"You're right!" he laughed as he passed the cup back. "Not quite apple pie, but not bad either… I'll have to remember that for next time."

Benny nodded and leaned back, throwing one arm over the back of his chair. "So, about that porch light…"

Good shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it."

Benny furrowed his brow and slowly lowered his mug. "Dude, you said you were going to get me to look into it. What was that about if you aren't actually?"

"Well, um… It's hard to explain." Good shook his head. "But don't worry, Benny, if I ever need your help, I'll be sure to ask you…"

"No, no, really." Benny set his cup down and leaned forward, gripping the back of the chair with his hand to hold him. "Were you just saying that to get me to go away? Dude, I don't even care if I do or don't look at the light now; you just have me curious."

Good shook his head. "Please, it's nothing for you to worry about. Please, just trust me." Good leaned forward as well, lacing his fingers together and setting his chin on the back of them. "So, what's it like being in space? I always found it amazing that people can do that… It seems nearly impossible."

"It's a rad feat in human engineering, is what it is," Benny answered. "Space is great, man, you can't even comprehend. I hardly can, and I was up there. Being virtually weightless, out in the stars, well not _literally_ , but being so far from our home, as far out as the moon or maybe even further one day… It's totally wicked, dude. A major rush. No place like it."

"But you _are_ young," Good pointed out. "If not as young as I initially thought. Why are you already retired from being an astronaut?"

He shook his head. "Not important. There was an accident while I was out on a spacewalk, my helmet broke… The execs at the Space Corps felt it in our bests interests that I not continue… Leave it at that."

Good hummed and sipped his tea. "And if you had a choice?" he asked.

"Heck, I'd build my own spaceship and suit if I had to," Benny sighed. "I want to go back, but I'm not going to fight it if they say I can't."

"Why not?" Good pressed on.

"Space travel is all about safety, dude," Benny answered, as he had plenty of times before for the children on his front porch. "They set up all these restrictions and stuff about who can and can't go into space at the current point in time for safety reasons. Since, y'know, the wrong thing happening could cause people to get hurt or worse…" He pointed at himself for a moment and quickly stopped before Good could notice. "If they say I can't go back, it's for safety reasons, either my own or everyone else's."

Good chuckled and shook his head. "You're afraid to question it."

Benny rolled his eyes. "Afraid to question it, he says. Dude, you're talking to a guy who sat with tons of rocket fuel strapped to his back to propel him out of the atmosphere and towards the moon. I'm not afraid of something like that."

"Why haven't you asked, then?" Good asked, almost smirking at him.

He faltered and stared down at the milky liquid in his mug. There was the difference between children and adults. Children would ask plenty of questions, but adults could know how to simplify it to just a few. Benny furrowed his brow, but then looked back up at Good and grinned. "It's nothing for you to worry about," he mocked. "Just trust me."

Good blinked, but then laughed, shaking his head at him. "Fair enough."

The conversation paused as the chorus of footsteps padding down the staircase resounded in the quiet home. Slowly, another man made it into their line of sight, a perfect match for Good except with sunglasses over his eyes, a Sam Browne belt over his right shoulder, a witch hat in his hand and a poofy black and orange skirt around his waist over his pants. "Good," he said, looking down at the hat in his hand, "What time are we supposed…?” He glanced up. "To…" Benny waved. The other man threw the hat to the ground. "Darnit, Good!"

"B-Bad," Good laughed nervously. "I didn't expect you downstairs so soon. We don't have to leave for another hour, so you don't… Ahem… Benny, this is Bad, my twin brother."

"Hi, nice to meet you," Benny answered, smiling in what he hoped was comfort. "Uh… Going to a Halloween party?"

"No," Bad answered at the same time as Good said "Yes." They stared at each other before switching their answers. Good smiled sheepishly while Bad smacked his forehead before bending over to scoop up the hat.

Bad pulled the hat and tugged it over his eyes, but his red cheeks were still plainly visible. "Good, did you, uh, make tea?"

Good nodded. "On the counter. I left it steep nice and long, like how you like it."

"Thanks," he gruffed out, hurrying over to the counter and grabbing the leftover mug before slinking back to the table and into the seat at one end of the table, as far away from Benny and Good as he could get. "So, uh… What's with the kid?"

Benny groaned. "I'm _thirty_."

Bad looked up at him, frowning, and then peered over his shades at Good. "You _de-aged_ someone?"

Good shook his head quickly. "No, no, he looks like that _normally_. He's that astronaut we've been hearing about…"

"De-age?" Benny repeated. "What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing," Good assured him. "Now, Bad…"

"I know, I know," Bad muttered.

Benny rolled his eyes. "Gosh, you claim to be able to make hair tonics and 'de-age' people, and _you_ are dressed as a witch. What, do you guys think you can do magic or something?"

Bad shook his head. "No, of course not."

"I mean, really," Benny continued, shaking his head. "Magic's not _real_. It can't be."

Bad scowled. "And why not, _spaceman_?"

"Just based on principle," Benny answered. "There has to be an explanation for how it works, at which point it's proven to be science and not magic."

"Even if someone were able to, um…" Good paused to think about a scenario. "Even if someone were able to make a frog float?"

"Dude, _I_ can make a frog float," Benny sighed. "It's not _magic_ , though."

Bad frowned. " _You_ can make a frog float? How?"

"Magnets," Benny answered quickly, inwardly cringing at his near slip. At least science has proven his claim true already…

"Really?" Good asked. "Does that hurt the frog…?"

"Uh… I don't know…" Benny shrugged. "But, yeah, with the right equipment, you can make a frog levitate in a magnetic field… That reminds me, I should look into that… Uh, anyway, yeah, magic. Why wouldn't it just be science that hasn't been explained yet?"

"Because magic is really hard to explain under normal science terms?" Bad offered, his tone matching the rolling of his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever man," Benny sighed, shaking his head. "So, you sure there's nothing you want me to do about the porch light?"

"Is it flickering again?" Bad asked, frowning. "Velma really did accidentally curse it, then?"

Benny pulled an incredulous look. "Wait, what?"

"Bad!" Good looked at his brother in worry, and Bad flinched.

" _Nothing_ , spaceman," Bad answered. "No, there's nothing you can do- nothing we want you to do."

"Because it's magic," Benny reiterated. "Because you think it's magically cursed."

Good sighed and looked at Bad and shrugged. "Can I…?"

"Might as well," Bad sighed. "We're not going to get him out of here otherwise…"

Good nodded and stood up. "Okay, Benny… Watch." He pulled an ornate wand out of seemingly nowhere and flicked it over himself. Benny watched, eyes wide, as Good suddenly caused a hat, skirt, and belt to manifest over his outfit, matching Bad's save for the belt going across the left shoulder instead. "Ta-da?" he grinned nervously.

"That… That _can't_ be magic, though," Benny insisted, standing. "I mean, _really_ , how could that… How did that…?"

Bad sighed and stood as well. He then walked up behind Benny and picked him up. "Come on, we're going to show you more."

"There's _more_?" Benny asked, taking on a horrified look.

"You asked, Benny," Good answered as he followed behind.

Benny whined, wondering just what he got himself into.


	2. Like a Dream

Benny shook himself into awareness the moment they stepped into the backyard and wiggled his way out of Bad's hands, landing onto the browning grass like an angry feather. "Dude!" he frowned. "I may be short, but don't carry me like that."

Bad hummed at him, lifting his brow. Good peeked out from behind Bad and smiled reassuringly at Benny. Bad cleared his throat and motioned over to a small garage behind the house. Benny turned to look at it, and he narrowed his eyes as the door opened automatically.

"Dude, no big, remote controlled," Benny countered, looking back at Bad and the wand in his hand. "Easily done."

"Keep watching," Good encouraged, just as the rev of an engine purred.

Benny turned back around and watch a car come out of the garage on its own, pulling up in front of Benny before stopping. Benny gawked and ran around the car, inspecting everything inch of the exterior he could, nervously touching the black and white paint and jerking his hand away the moment he made contact as if he had been burnt. "Could… _Also_ be remote controlled…"

Bad groaned and slipped into the driver seat while Good went along to Benny's side and held open the passenger side door for him. Benny furrowed his brow and slid in and then continued to the middle as Good ushered him into place. Good sat beside him and shut the door and then flashed a thumbs up and a smile at Bad.

"Wait, what about seat belts?" Benny asked.

"This is a magic car," Bad sighed. "You're fine."

"Seat belts," he repeated, sternly.

Bad scowled and flicked his wand at him, and suddenly six belts popped out of the seat, each of them wrapping around Benny and strapping him in place. They loosened to a comfortable snug at Good's flick of the wand, and Benny stared incredulously from one twin to the other.

"Alright, let's go," Bad sighed.

"Where are we going?" Benny asked, the waver on his voice causing him to flinch.

"You'll see," Good answered

"We're heading east," Bad clarified. He put the car in drive and turned it towards the back of the yard.

"Wait, what…?" Benny's eyes widened as the car suddenly picked up from the ground and soared through the air. "Oh my gosh!" he gasped. He gripped the seat tight and whipped his head around, trying to confirm they were in the air.

Bad continued to scowl as he drove- or rather, _flew_ \- to his left, and to his right, Good had pulled out a crossword book and a pen and wrote down answers as if this entire thing were normal.

"Five letter word for what type of car this is," Good answered.

"Sedan," Benny squeaked out.

Good looked at him, lifting his brow. "Doesn't fit, love. Try again."

"But it _can't_ be magic." Benny took a deep breath, flexing his hands as he tried to relax. "No, not magic. Just some kind of advanced technology. I'll even accept it as alien."

"Don't you think _we'd_ know if it was advanced technology?" Bad asked him.

"No way, man, not with that attitude," Benny frowned in return. "I've seen people claim things like the internet or cameras to be magic because they didn't know how it works. Gosh, people come up with all sorts of crazy ideas of how things work when they don't know the legit way it does."

"But we know it _is_ magic," Good argued.

"How do you know magic isn't science?" Benny asked. "What proof is there? If it _is_ magic, haven't you ever wondered _how_ the magic works? Are you really so content to just let it happen and not ever wonder why?"

"Yes," Bad answered as the car began to lower towards the ground again. "Why is this so important to you?"

"I'm an _astronaut_ , dude!" Benny groaned. "I'm all about science and technology and learning how things work, why the universe does what it does, how things function. You can't just tell me there's magic and expect me to just accept it point blank…"

"Funny then, isn't it?" Good asked, chuckling as the wheels of the car rolled along the ground the moment they made contact. "Almost like a dream, what we're telling you…"

Bad parked the car and turned to look at Benny. "That would make it all make sense, wouldn't it? A dream."

Benny frowned. "Except this isn't a dream. No dream has this amount of clarity, dude."

"There's a way to see whether or not it is," Good giggled.

"Which is…?" Benny asked, glancing from one twin to the other nervously.

They both leaned in on either side of him and whispered at the same time. "Wake up."

Benny groaned and flipped over in his bed. He pulled the pillow over his head and moaned in agony before throwing the thing away from him and moving to his knees to look at the time. Five AM, just like he always woke up, no exceptions. "Stupid dream," he mumbled before he stepped out of bed and let himself float into the connecting bathroom for a shower, his body aching too much to walk normally.

The floating thing was getting to him, he decided as he worked through his morning routine. Now he was having stress dreams about magic, probably since that's just what the sudden Space Logic seemed like, however stupid it was. He shook his head and slowly ate his breakfast as he went over what he did the day before to figure out his tasks for today.

He remembered going for a walk after finishing up some work for the young couple down the street who couldn't figure out how to install their new shower head. He went down to Oakhurst before doubling back to Cherry Tree. He spent the rest of his day at home working his model spaceships- Wait…

Benny narrowed his eyes and left his cereal behind to hurry to the garage, to his workbench, to his spaceships. The ships he completed during the previous week hung from fishing wires from the ceiling. The one he completed last evening lay on his workbench, where he left it, a spitting image of the box next to it.

He went back to the kitchen and shoveled down the last of his cereal, hurried to brush his teeth, and then shot straight out the door the moment he slipped his shoes on, not even bothering to put on his hoodie and just gripping tightly to it as he ran down the street, towards Oakhurst, slowing down at the corner and pausing then to put on the hoodie in the early morning chill, in the dark of the day before the sunrise could overtake them. Benny took a deep breath and walked down the street until he saw it, the porch with the flickering light, and he steeled himself as he approached the man in sunglasses and a leather jacket at work sweeping that porch.

"Hi!" he called, waving as the man jumped at him. "I noticed your porch light is flickering. Did you need any help fixing that?"

"No," the man answered, gruffly, gripping the broom handle tight. "We got it covered, thanks."

"You're not just going to leave it, are you?" Benny asked, leaning on the fence. "If it's faulty wiring, it could cause a house fire. Wouldn't want you and Good to get hurt."

"What are you going on about?" the man asked defensively.

"Dude," Benny laughed. "Bad. Man, don't you realize…?"

"I realize that you're crazy," Bad answered, turning away.

"I don't follow instructions," Benny told him, catching him before he walked back inside. Bad slowly looked back at him, and he grinned. "On the spaceships. I just use the supplies to design my own."

Bad stared at him for a long moment. "Alright, get in here," he answered at last, walking back into the house and leaving the front door wide.

Benny pumped a fist in triumph and the catapulted himself over the fence, just like the day before, and bounded inside, slowing down only once he crossed the threshold.

"Stay quiet," Bad whispered. "Good doesn't like to get up early."

Benny nodded and watched as Bad shut the door gently. Bad motioned towards the armchair, and Benny sat down in it while Bad disappear into the kitchen for a short time, returning soon afterwards with two cups of coffee.

"How do you take yours?" he asked.

"Black's fine," Benny replied before sipping the bitter liquid, thankful for something normal amidst the weirdness going on around him. "You almost had me fooled, I'll admit. I was really thinking it was all just a dream and wasn’t going to go here again, but then the ship thing… How did you do that? Did you knock me out and then place new memories, or did you wait for me to fall asleep on my own, did you actually do the thing with good telling me to wake up, or was that faked too? How did you even do that to start with? And which of you built the spaceship?"

"One question at a time," Bad groaned, slumping in the armchair across from Benny while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Alright," Benny agreed. "Which of you built the spaceship?"

Bad lowered his hand and stared at Benny incredulously. "Really? Are you serious?"

"Totally, dude," Benny nodded. "Spaceships are ace, and I want to know which of you used up my supplies to make one according to the box so I know which one of you to get money from to replace it since I was going to use the supplies for a majorly _cooler_ spaceship."

Bad sighed and shook his head. "I built it. I'll pay you back, don't worry. Okay, look, we knocked you out after we landed the car. We needed the time to discuss what memories to give you, and we figured it out more once we actually found your house and got you in bed. The 'wake up' thing was something we actually did, as part of the spell to knock you out and replace your day memory… And we used _magic_ , you doof."

Benny rolled his eyes, but then sighed and set his mug on the coaster on the table in front of him. "You're not supposed to tell me, are you? About the magic thing, I mean. That's why you took me on the bizarre adventure so I'd think it was a dream and not question it?"

"Well, look who's a smart cookie," Bad mumbled. He sat up and gulped down his coffee before setting the empty mug on the table. "Alright, look, you're something we call a 'mundane'. One of the normal people in the world who can't cast magic. Usually mundanes are separated into believers and nonbelievers… It's self-explanatory, how it defines what they think of magic. There's different intensities to both sides, for how much one believes versus how willing they'd be to accept it if they find out. You're weird, though, obviously a nonbeliever, but not a _normal_ one since you think it could be explained by your stupid science when it's _magic_ and not supposed to be explained."

"No, _that's_ the stupid thing," Benny retorted. "Even if it is magic, wouldn't you guys be better off knowing just how magic works so you can use that to make more- what, spells and potions? Do you guys really just try things at random and hope for the best? There has to be some sort of method. Perhaps a _scientific_ one."

Bad scowled. "Shut up. Anyway, for any mundane, we're not supposed to let you know about magic. Some people worry about witch hunts, others worry about how the knowledge might be abused, and beyond that there's the normal prejudice against mundanes who act similar to witches that actual ones wouldn't want the word getting out."

Benny hummed in thought. "Wait, so, you guys consider yourselves witches…?"

"Why the need for gender-based titles?" Good yawned as he entered the room with a croissant and curled up on one of the frilly couches. "The different titles are for the type of magic, not the person's gender…"

"Do you wear skirts because you don't consider it gender specific too?" Benny asked.

"No," Bad sighed. "We wear skirts because _Good_ thinks we look cute in them."

Benny grinned. "You kind of do."

" _Shut_ ," Bad ordered. He frowned at Good as his twin lazily ate the croissant with slowly fluttering eyes. "GOOD."

Good jumped and whipped his head toward Bad. "W-What…?"

"It didn't work," Bad told him. "Benny realized what we did."

Good blinked and looked over at Benny and then smiled at him. "Oh, um… Hello. Bad… What do we do about it now…?"

"I won't tell anyone," Benny promised, lifting his left hand and using the right to cross his heart. "Not anyone who doesn't already know."

"Cross your heart, hmm?" Good giggled and leaned on the armrest, towards Benny. "We could hold you to that, love, being magic…"

Benny rolled his eyes. "Dude, come on, you already know I don't actually believe it's 'magic'. There has to be an explanation for it."

"Not everything has a scientific explanation," Bad sighed, shaking his head.

"Yeah, I know," Benny answered, shrugging. "Science can't explain what things are morally right or wrong, just whether or not there's positive or negative effects from it. It can't explain whether or not we're real or just imagining we are. It can't prove logic, or history, or why people are in love. But, c'mon, dude, science explains phenomena. What I've seen of your so-called magic _is_ a type of phenomena. Science should be able to explain it somehow."

"Whatever," Bad groaned. "Still, we need to figure out what to _do_ about you. We can't just get rid of you…"

"Well, we _could_ , but that would be unethical," Good sighed. "We already tried to make you think you dreamt this… I suppose we really do just have to make sure you don't tell anyone about us."

"I promise I won't," Benny insisted. "I can keep secrets."

"We'll have to trust him," Good told Bad.

"He crossed his heart," Bad nodded. "That's a contract."

Benny flattened his brow. "Whatever, dudes. So, uh…" He glanced to the curtains and squinted at the slowly brightening outside world. "Now what?"

"Would you like to help us with some chores?" Good asked.

"Oh, I would _love_ for something to do," Benny laughed.

"We like to do most chores traditionally," Good told him as he rose to his feet. "So it'll be okay for you to do them without magic too. I'll show you what to do, alright?"

"Cool with me, man," Benny agreed, standing. "Lead the way."


	3. Childlike

Between the three of them, they finished the chores for the day by nine AM, and Benny sat with the two at their kitchen table to relax and figure out what to do with the rest of the day.

"It's Sunday," Good pointed out. "We can't shop for our supplies today. The store will be closed."

"We still have a few hours before lunch," Bad frowned. "Normally we'd be working longer. I guess having the extra set of hands helped."

Benny grinned. "Any chance of getting you to help with chores at my place?"

"What chores?" Bad snorted. "We went to your house, remember? You had pretty much everything taken care of, and I doubt you did much damage before showing up here so early in the morning."

"Well…" Benny crossed his arms. "I need _something_ to do in my spare time…"

"Is that what the model spaceships are for?" Good asked. "Your garage was full of them."

"Yeah, pretty much," Benny shrugged. "Hobby shop's closed today too, so I can't ask you to make good on that promise to buy the replacement kit right now. But you _could_ help me with something, if you need something to do."

"Maybe," Bad answered, frowning at him. "What exactly…?"

"How good are you at putting together children's playsets?" Benny asked, smiling. "The Johnson's over on Pinewood wanted to set one up for their grandchildren, and now's a great time to put it together so it'll be ready when they come back from Church. They already told me where they want it, and I have the keys to their shed to get out the supplies to put it together…"

"We'd love to help," Good said as his eyes twinkled in delight. "Bad, the children would love it, wouldn't they?"

"We don't know what we're doing," Bad frowned. "We don't build things often. At least not without magic."

"Well, you can help by keeping me company," Benny nodded determinedly. "I was going to wait until after they came home, but this would be a nice surprise for them…"

"Wait, why can't you do it on your own?" Bad asked. "Why do you need company?"

Benny grinned at him and shrugged. "In case of accidents. Well, what do you say? Want to come with?"

"Let's go!" Good cheered, rising to his feet. He grabbed onto Bad's arm and dragged him up. "Come on, Bad, what's the harm in going with him?"

Bad scowled. "Fine, let's go. Good, get your jacket on."

Soon, Benny led the way to Pinewood, and Good hummed a light tune as he trailed behind him. Bad grumbled as he walked beside Good, and then sighed loudly.

"So, what, are you friends with everyone here?" Bad asked Benny.

Benny glanced over his shoulder and shook his head. "No way, man, I don't even know everyone here. But, y'know, I like talking to people, and I like building or fixing things, so I like seeing what people need help with and doing it."

"It's hard to believe," Bad continued. "You're such a runt. You look like you're not even old enough to drink."

Benny furrowed his brow and turned back around. "I know, dude. I'd say I'm cursed to look this young, but concerning present company…"

"It's possible you are," Good chimed. "Would could look into it. Maybe you'd grow a few inches."

"Oh, stop it about my height," Benny groaned. "Alright, here's the house."

They stopped in front of a cheery, bright yellow home with a white picket fence closing off the backyard. Benny lead them down the pavers to the fence gate and walked them through to the backyard, empty save for the outdoor deck and the shed in the corner. Benny motioned to the chairs at the patio table.

"Go wait there," Benny told them. "I'll let you know if I need something."

Good nodded and led Bad to the table. Benny tugged his key ring from his pocket and picked out the correct one and soon after entered the shed and began pulling out everything he needed. Bad leaned over to Good as they watched Benny work, and he whispered.

"I didn't realize mundanes could do all that so quickly without magic," he muttered.

"It _is_ strange," Good whispered back. "Don't these playsets advertise as taking a weekend to install? How is he going to get it done in just an hour or two?"

"He's so _short_ too," Bad added.

"Bad!"

"It's _true_ ," he insisted. "How is he _doing_ this without being magic?"

"Maybe he actually is and just doesn't realize," Good commented. He flinched at the sound of power tools. "Ooh, it's a little strange, seeing someone who looks as young as him using things like that… Nobody's here. We could have gotten away with building it for him."

"He looks like he knows what he's doing," Bad grumbled. "Just let him do what he wants. At this rate, he'll have it done before we even realize."

"But what if he gets hurt?" Good asked.

"He's not a little kid," Bad answered, furrowing his brow at him. "He's not going to do something stupid with those tools without it being an accident. And we _are_ here in case he does, like he said."

Good sighed and watched Benny as he worked. As the seconds dragged on, he sighed again. "I'm bored," he said.

"Same," Bad sighed. "We should have built it for him."

"Crossword or Sudoku?"

"Sudoku. You know I'm not good at figuring out those stupid hints."

Good waved his hand and produced two puzzle books and pens, and handed one of each to his twin. Sometime later, the sound of construction ended, and they looked up to see the finished product.

"What do you think?" Benny asked, motioning to the playset. "Cool, right? The kids will _love_ it."

"It's wonderful!" Good answered. "Are we done here, then?"

Benny nodded. "Let me just get the things back into the shed and whatever. Oh, do you have a spare piece of paper?"

Bad ripped a blank page from the back of his book while Benny put the things away. After Benny locked the shed, he headed over for the table, nodding in thanks as he took the paper and a pen and wrote down a quick note. He then hurried over to the playset and stuck the note in plain sight where it wouldn't fall off or blow away.

"Alright, let's get going before they show up," Benny called over as he briskly walked back to the gate.

Good and Bad followed after him, and soon they were back on the sidewalk, with Benny still directing where they would go.

"So what about you two?" Benny asked. "Do you know anyone around here?"

"No," Bad answered immediately.

Good rolled his eyes at his brother. "We tend to stick to our community, so we never really talk with others when we can help it. You're the first mundane we really continued to talk with."

"Yeah?" Benny asked, glancing back at them. "Why's that?"

"You looked so cute and eager to help with the porch light," Good admitted. "I couldn't help but invite you in for tea."

"Good likes cute things," Bad mumbled.

Benny laughed and turned around, walking backwards and winking. "And what about you, Bad? Why haven't _you_ gotten rid of me?"

"Because you're a pest and insisted on showing up again," Bad answered.

Benny lifted his brow and waited.

Bad groaned and shook his head. "Because you're _weird_ and I can't figure you out, but Good likes you, so I don't really care now."

Benny continued to stare, continued keep his brow lifted in question, continued to walk backwards down the sidewalk.

"What do you want from me?" Bad demanded.

He laughed and shook his head. "Nah, just messing with ya. So, what, is that store you were planning to go to a magic store or something?"

"Yes," Good answered. "We have some things we're supposed to get for a meeting next Saturday…"

"Hmm." Benny stopped and motioned to the right. "84 Cherry Tree Lane. You recognize this small blue house, right?"

"Your place, yes," Good nodded.

"Want to…" He shrugged. "I dunno, watch a movie with me or something? We could make lunch and then find something to watch."

"N-." Bad winced when Good elbowed him and he rubbed his arm, glaring at Good in annoyance. "Fine," he said to Benny. "Lunch and a movie. But nothing fantasy or sci-fi."

"I have this _great_ animated movie about plastic bricks," Benny laughed, leading the way inside. "You'll love it."

Good and Bad shared a confused look but then followed Benny once again. After a simple meal of sandwiches, pretzels, and juice, which Bad called childish, and after the movie, which Bad said was even _more_ childish, the doorbell rang just after Benny put the DVD back into its case.

"Oh, right," Benny laughed. "It's about that time, isn't it?"

"Time for what?" Good asked.

Benny smiled and didn't answer and instead went to the front door. Good and Bad watched from behind the wall as young children came into sight, most of them still dressed in their Sunday best.

"Mr. Chu!" the children chimed before they all started asking different things.

"Hey, hey, one at a time," Benny laughed. "Sally, it's your turn to ask the first question, right?"

The young girl nodded and giggled. "Mr. Chu, you said you'd show us your helmet today!"

Benny's smile disappeared for a moment, but he recovered quickly and glanced back at his guests. "Oh. Did I…?"

"Yes!" the children called.

"Well… Okay, hold on a moment." Benny turned around and cleared his throat. "Uh… Bad, do me a favor and go into my room… There's a plastic hatbox in the closet. Bring that out here and be _gentle_ with it."

Bad frowned but nodded and disappeared into the house. Good watched him walk away and then hurried over to Benny's side.

Benny grinned and looked at the children, who scrambled away to let him come out onto the porch. Benny plopped down onto the floor, just in front of the door, and the children all sat around him. Good smiled in surprise, but joined them.

"This is Good," Benny introduced. "Good and his brother Bad are visiting me today."

"Are you astronauts too?" one of the boys asked.

Good chuckled and shook his head. "No, no, afraid not. Benny, love, who are your friends?"

"Right," Benny nodded. "This is Sally, Neil, Alan, Mae, Gus, and Ellen. They like to come over and hear me talk about space and being an astronaut."

Bad walked up behind them and slipped outside, pulling the door shut behind him. He glanced around at them and lowered the hatbox into Benny's hands. "I'll just go then?"

"No, don't," Benny insisted. "Kids, make some room for Mr. Bad to sit down too."

The children scrambled to the side and Bad cringed but sat beside Benny.

"You need actual chairs," Bad mumbled.

"Are you twins?" Alan asked.

"Are you Mr. Chu's boyfriends?" Mae giggled.

"We're twins," Bad grumbled.

"And no," Good chuckled. "We're not his boyfriends."

"Why are your names Mr. Good and Mr. Bad?" Gus asked.

"Kids, c'mon," Benny laughed and shook his head. "Good and Bad are just here visiting me, and I'm sure they want to hear the story too. Ready to see the helmet?" He grinned despite the fact his voice cracked slightly, and he ignored Good's glance to him.

"Yes!" the children insisted, while a few of them scooted closer.

"Alright," Benny nodded. He took a deep breath and set the box in front of him and then unlatched it. He stared intently as he lifted the lid and then gently lifted the blue helmet, staring into the reflective gold visor and the crack along the glass, extending down to the bottom of it. He turned it around to show it to the children who all gasped in excitement.

"This is my helmet," Benny explained. "It's the one I wore during space missions! Cool, huh? Remember how I said there's no air in space? And how space is a vacuum? Well, wearing this helmet and the rest of the space suit keeps you safe in space and gives you all the air you need to breathe. But if there's a hole in the suit somewhere, you can lose air, and that's really dangerous. A crack like this, while out in space, could even kill you if you don't get into a safe place soon after."

The children gasped again, this time in concern. Good gasped as well, and Bad just pursed his lips.

"Did that happen to you out in space, Mr. Chu?" Ellen asked him.

Benny chuckled and shook his head. "No, no, I was lucky and this crack happened when I was safe. But the people at Space Corps decided that if my helmet was broken, then I couldn't go back into space until it's fixed. So I… I have to stay here until they can… can get me a new, unbroken helmet… And then they'll let me back into space…"

"Mr. Chu, are you crying?" Sally asked, reaching out and patting his hand. "We know you like space a lot. It's okay to be sad."

"N-No, I'm fine," Benny answered, smiling at her. "D-Don't worry, Sally. I'm sure they'll have a new helmet for me in no time, and then I can go back to space."

Sally glanced at the other children, and each of them took on seriously looks, obviously thinking of something.

Mae was the first one to smile again and she reached into her pocket and pulled something from it. She scrambled over to Benny and stuck the bandage onto the crack on the bottom of the helmet. "There! Does that help?"

Benny squinted at the bandage. "Are those stars…?"

"Yep!" Mae nodded. "I asked Mommy for them after you started talking to us about space! I want to be an astronaut when I grow up too!"

"That's…" Benny smiled and held the helmet against his chest. "Y-Yes, it helps. U-Um… Kids, I know I didn't say much this time, but…"

"Do any of you know the Johnson's?" Good interrupted. "The ones in the yellow house on Pinewood?"

"That's mine and Alan's gramma and grampa's house," Neil answered.

"Why don't you kids head over there?" Bad asked, forcing a smile. "I bet they have a surprise for you."

Alan's face lit up. "Let's go, let's go!"

The children scrambled to their feet and hurried down the street. Benny watched them leave, and then fell back against his door the moment their excited screams faded away.

"What's the real story?" Good asked, gently coaxing the helmet from Benny and setting it back into the box.

"What makes you think that wasn't the real story?" Benny mumbled.

"Please," Bad answered, rolling his eyes. "Even the kids knew you were lying, I bet. And they're, what, three?"

"Five," Benny answered.

"Whatever." Bad grabbed onto the wall to help him up. "If you're not going to tell us, there's no sense in sitting out here."

Good nodded his agreement and stood as well, holding out a hand to help Benny up. "Yes, that is true. Perhaps Bad and I overstayed our welcome."

Benny stared at the hatbox and then groaned and tucked it under his arm before accepting Good's hand to stand back up. "No, no, let's go inside and I'll tell you. Besides, this thing was on the top shelf of my closet. I'll need help putting it back in if I don't want to drag in the stepping stool."

Mere minutes later, the three of them sat around Benny's kitchen table. With the helmet out of sight, but not out of mind, Benny dug his fingers into his hair and sighed.

"I was on a spacewalk," Benny told them. "It was supposed to be routine. Just maintenance on one part of the space station. And then something just hit me smack in the face. No one even knows what it was or where it came from. But it was enough to crack the helmet, so it had to have been traveling fast. I'm lucky my colleagues could get me back inside the station before I completely ran out of oxygen… But it was scary. You have to keep breathing even with the escaping air or you'll just die sooner. The saliva on your tongue boils…

"But for some reason, after that, they put me on the next shuttle back to Earth, they reviewed my case, and the executives decided that I couldn't continue being an astronaut and I don't know why. So I packed up and moved here, and I've been here since. I hate being grounded, guys. I love it in space. Even if I weren't doing science, it's an exciting place to be."

"You don't know what hit you at all?" Good asked.

Benny shook his head. "Probably some random space junk that burnt up in the atmosphere if it even headed towards Earth. Better it hit me than something vital on the station, but still…"

"When did the accident happen?" Bad asked next.

"Hmm," Benny thought over it. "A few months ago. Last Spring. They put the day and approximate time on the report for it if you give me a moment to find it. It's in the garage."

"Go ahead," Bad nodded.

Benny stood and left the kitchen. After some searching in his filing cabinet, he returned with a folder and set it down on the table. He flipped through the papers and picked one up, scouring over it. "Alright, here it is." He showed Bad the paper and pointed out the day and time. "With the time it was on the station, it would have been… just past four AM in this time zone."

"Good," Bad said, sliding over the paper to his brother. "Look."

Good looked at the time and frowned. "That was the night of a blue moon, the second full moon of the month. Before sunrise, so the moon was still out. Bad and I were with our coven then."

"Any reason why…?" Benny asked, softly tugging the page back from Good to put into his folder again.

"Magic Builders of the Blue Moon," Bad answered. "That's the name of our coven."

"Or it _was_ , anyway," Good continued. "We had too many members for the coven leader to handle, so we split into two. We followed our current leader, so ours became Order of the Kragle."

Benny wrinkled his nose and blinked, trying to process that name. "Kragle…?"

"We don't know either," Bad answered. "Our coven leader came up with it and won't tell us how or why."

"O… kay…?" Benny cleared his throat. "So… When did you split?"

"That night, actually," Good answered. "Our old coven leader just brought it up that night and it split rather…"

"Let's just say there was no arguing or question who went with what leader," Bad sighed. "Still, that's a weird coincidence, that your helmet broke that same night our coven broke into two…"

Benny shrugged. "Things like that happen. You can't possibly be trying to say _that_ was somehow magic involved. I was up in space, dude. What magic could there be?"

Good hummed a few notes. "Well, love, if you're so insistent there's an explanation for how our magic works, what makes you think that Earth is the only place that has magic?"

Benny smirked. "Wow, good point. That would also imply that it's more likely it _is_ a science."

"Good, don't encourage him," Bad scolded.

"Sorry, Bad!" Good smiled in response.

"We should get going," Bad said as he stood up. "Uh… Thanks for having us over, Benny. And for telling us… Y'know."

"No prob," Benny answered, smiling weakly and flashing a thumbs up. "I'll see you two around?"

Good nodded and rested a hand on Benny's shoulder as he stood. "You're welcome at our place anytime. And… You can come to us if you ever need anything."

"Same for you on my end," Benny nodded. "Both of you. I'll see you out."

Bad gave a curt wave as he walked away to the sidewalk, and Good waved continuously until Benny shut the door. Benny took a deep breath, refusing to let go of the doorknob for a long moment. He then kicked himself off it and floated into the garage to dig out his notes on his Space Logic, leaving the file on the accident hovering just next to him.

"Could be alien…" Benny mumbled. "Alien magic. Hmph. I'll never hear the end of it if it is."

He looked at the papers, each levitating in the air all around him, and he groaned.

"They can never know about this," he decided. "Never."


	4. A Week's Worth

Monday, Mrs. Johnson brought cookies for Benny as thanks for making the playset, and Benny brought them to Good and Bad to share before leaving to take care of fixing a broken fence after someone texted him.

Tuesday, Bad showed up on his doorstep and shoved a model spaceship kit into his hands before running off. Later, Good stopped by during Benny's tale about one of his moon missions and listened as raptly as the children. Once the story was done, Good asked to make sure Bad delivered the spaceship model and then left once Benny confirmed he did.

Wednesday, Benny came home from the hobby shop to find his porch furnished with potted plastic plants, nice benches, and even chairs for the children to sit in during their visits. The note attached to the door read "from G.C. & B.C." and Benny just laughed and shook his head.

Thursday, Benny helped a neighbor install tile in their house, only accepting payment after the neighbor insisted. In the afternoon, he brought a gift box to Good and Bad's home. Good opened it and laughed at the near perfect model of their car. Bad made it fly around the room to spite Benny.

Friday, Benny stayed at home, doing chores and floating around, slowly getting more and more annoyed as the hours dragged on. In the evening, he found Good and Bad on his porch step and they asked if he wanted to help them gather pinecones. He didn't ask why but answered yes.

Saturday rolled around and Benny dressed for the day and grabbed a light breakfast to go as he made his way to Oakhurst before the sun even rose. He got to that familiar house with the flickering porch light and lifted himself onto the railing of the fence in wait. He looked up to the waning night sky, slowly fading as the sun encroached upon its territory, and then bit into his bagel, letting his thoughts wander away before he started writing poetry in his mind.

Eventually, he heard the front door open and heard someone shout at him to get off their fence, and he lowered himself down and waved over at Bad.

Bad stared at him, scowling, as if waiting for him to leave. Benny frowned at first, but then flattened his brow and sighed.

"It's _me_ , you airhead!" Benny called. "Gosh, you know there's a reason most people don't wear sunglasses when it's dark."

"Oh, _you_ ," Bad sighed. "Alright, come on in."

Benny beamed and made sure to use the gate this time. Once he got to the front porch, Bad handed him a broom.

"Sweep," he told him. "I'll get you a cup of coffee and then take over for you."

Benny looked at the floorboards and frowned. "What exactly am I sweeping? It doesn't get _that_ dirty in six days’ time, y'know."

"It's a magic thing," Bad told him. "You wouldn't understand."

"You didn't even try telling me," Benny answered, leaning on the broom. "Tell me or I'm not sweeping."

Bad sighed. "Okay, fine. It's just a superstition of mine…"

"Superstition?" Benny asked. "Are you kidding?"

"No," Bad growled. "Look, most superstitions aren't real, and the rest are as real as the person believing them will let them. After all, most superstitions are made by _mundanes_."

Benny rolled his eyes. "Alright, so you believe you have to sweep the front porch every weekend morning or something."

Bad nodded. "Yes. Both on Saturday and Sunday."

"What happens if you don't?" he pressed on.

He shook his head. "I'm not sure. Something bad, though."

Benny hummed and glanced at the broom. "And would that still be averted if I swept instead of you?"

Bad pursed his lips but then slowly nodded. "Yeah."

"So it doesn't matter if someone who isn't magic does it," Benny continued. "Therefore it's not a magic thing for you, it really is just something you do just in case?"

"Yeah," he repeated, slumping his shoulders awkwardly.

" _Wow_ dude." Benny chuckled and shook his head. "So, what...? You were _lying_ to me?"

"I _thought_ you wouldn't question it if I did," Bad hissed through his clenched teeth.

Benny shrugged. "Question everything, dude. Alright, I'll sweep, you relax for once, if that'll make you feel better. Okay?"

"You're not going to make fun of it?" Bad asked.

"No way, man," Benny smiled and flashed him a thumbs up. "Don't worry, I got this."

Bad sighed but nodded. "Alright. Come inside when you're done. And actually do sweep. I'll be able to hear if you are."

"You got it," Benny saluted. He waited for Bad to go back inside and then began to sweep the porch, humming as he worked.

Meanwhile, inside, Good yawned as he descended the stairs, a little earlier than he normally would get up, but a feeling in his mind made him told him something was out of place. He grabbed his usual croissant from the breadbox and then looked over the counter to the kitchen table on the other side, becoming alert when he noticed his brother sitting there, a cup of coffee in his shaking hand.

"Bad?" he asked. "Isn't it Saturday? Aren't you normally sweeping at this time?"

"Benny said he would for me," Bad mumbled, setting down his mug. "I don't get what he's playing at."

"Benny is?" Good sat in the chair next to Bad and set his croissant aside to take a hold of Bad's hand. "What do you mean Benny is? What would he be playing? Unless you told him…"

"I told him it was a superstition," Bad answered. "You know how he is about magic, why would he… Listen, he actually _is_ sweeping."

Good cocked his head, catching the familiar sound of bristles against a wooden floor as it wafted through the air to his ear. "So he is. Is he just doing it to humor you? You told him how superstitions aren't actually magic, right?"

"He figured that out on his own," Bad answered. "He's such a weird mundane. First he wants to say that magic can't be magic, then he wants to act like superstitions may come true. Darn it, I really don't get him. If it were actual magic, it'd be a fact it something would happen if the porch isn't swept, but then he wants to know _why_ it would, and then when I admit it's just something that _may_ happen, he does it willingly!"

"Well…" Good trailed off as they heard the door open.

"Dude, where should I leave the broom?" Benny called inside.

"There's a hook for it just behind the door, love!" Good called back. "You can put it there."

"Oh, hey, morning Good!" Benny laughed, as if it were a joke, and soon after he came into sight and sat at the table across from them. "Was that good enough?"

"Yes," Bad answered. He shoved the mug across the table. "Here's your coffee."

"Thanks, man." Benny swiped it up and took a long gulp, ignoring how hot it was before setting it down again. "Y'know, I never thought superstitions were magic. Glad to know they aren't."

Good shook his head and picked up his croissant to start eating. "You have Bad concerned. Why would you believe superstition and not magic?"

"I didn't say I believe it," Benny shrugged. "They're illogical, for the most part. I mean, there's no reason why stepping on a crack would break someone's mother's back, right? That can be proven wrong very easily. But, y'know, some things are more _risky_ to prove wrong in case it _is_ right."

"Oh?" Bad asked, lifting his brow.

"Hey man." Benny leaned forward, giving the two of them the most serious look he could muster. "You try sitting on top of hundreds of tons of explosive rocket fuel on the way to an environment that could kill you in an instant without doing the standard rituals to ensure a safe trip. _No one_ wants to be the one to try and prove _those_ wrong if the result of them being right means catastrophic death."

Bad frowned. "But what does your _science_ say about that?"

"Science still applies," Benny countered. "There is a hypothesis that can be tested and results that could be concluded from testing. But the thing is, we don't _want_ to test it. Would you?"

"No," Good answered, smiling. "I suppose we wouldn't. Benny, why did you come visit so early anyway?"

"Oh, right!" Benny bounced excitedly. "I got some extra money this week- tiling and whatever- and I wanted to know if you two wanted to see a movie with me tonight. My treat."

Bad flattened his brow. "You came here before even _I_ woke up to ask us to go to a movie with you _tonight_?"

Benny laughed nervously and nodded. "And- um… Maybe see if you wanted to spend the day together, if you're not busy."

"Oh, sorry love, we are," Good answered. "We have our coven meetings every Saturday. But we'll be glad to pick you up after and see the movie then."

Benny pulled a face. "Oh right, that is a thing you mentioned before. Wait, that's not what the pinecones are for, is it?"

"Actually it is," Good nodded. "I'm supposed to bring pinecones. Bad's supposed to bring… Something fairly gross to be honest, but we picked that up from the store before we invited you for pinecone hunting yesterday."

"Something gross and _pinecones_ ," Benny reiterated. "What exactly are you doing…?"

"That's secret," Bad frowned. "We already told you enough about us, so we don't need to tell you what goes on in our coven meetings too."

Benny shrugged. "Fine, okay. But will your meeting be done before seven? That's when the movie is…"

"Oh, we'd be cutting it close, wouldn't we, Bad?" Good answered, frowning. "We might not make it in time…"

"Not unless we went straight to the movie theater after the meeting," Bad replied. "Benny would have to meet us there… Do you even _have_ a car?"

"Not in so many words," Benny stated slowly, flinching as he spoke. "It's more of a… bike."

Bad dropped his face into his hand and Good laughed.

"A bike!" Good grabbed onto Bad's arm. "He uses a bike. That's adorable. Well, we can't have you going to the movie theater using _that_. I suppose we _could_ take you with us later, but you'd just have to stay in the car during the meeting."

"Really?" Benny asked. "How long would the meeting be? That sounds _boring_. Total snore-fest."

"Hey," Bad scolded. "If you want to watch a movie with us at seven, you'll have to do as we say. It'll only be an hour. You'll be _fine_."

"Ughhh," Benny slouched over the table until he lay sprawled on the table. "Fiiiine."

Good giggled. "Benny, love, you aren't helping yourself not look like a child when you do things like that."

Benny shot straight back into an upright position. " _Right_ , then I… Yeah, I should stop that. So _could_ I spend the day here, then, or would I be in the way of whatever you need to do to prepare?"

"I think it would be fine for you to stay here," Good nodded. "Right, Bad?"

Bad sighed and nodded. "Yeah, it's fine. But still, try to stay out of the way."

Benny saluted at them. "You can count on me."


	5. The Coven Meeting

The car lowered until it hit the ground, and the wheels carried its momentum along the chalky road until Bad chose to hit the brakes, and they slowed to a stop on the edge of a forest. Good dropped his crossword puzzle book onto the dashboard and jumped out of the car in an instant, closing the door behind him. He went to the trunk while Bad leaned over Benny to undo the straps across his legs and chest.

"Now, Ben, just because I'm taking off these stupid things, doesn't mean you can come with us," Bad told him as he undid the last strap. He looked up, pushing back his hat so that the other man could see his eyes over his shades. "It's not really _allowed_ to take people like you to meetings, and who knows how the coven leader will react if he even knows you're spending time with us."

Benny frowned and crosses his arms. "So you expect me to just sit here and wait for you to come back? Dude, come on, that's totally boring."

Bad sighed and pulled his hat back down. "So you don't want to believe in magic, but when we tell you that you can't come, you actually do."

"I didn't say that," Benny answered, rolling his eyes. "I just don't like sitting in one place for too long. Not if I can help it anyway."

"Well you _can't_ help it, so stay put," Bad ordered as he opened the driver side door. After he stepped out, Good leaned back in.

"It's just for about an hour, Benny," Good assured him. "You can listen to the radio if you want."

Benny groaned and slid onto his side. "Nah, I'll just take a nap or something. See you later."

Good smiled at him and shut the door. Benny pushed himself up and watched as the two brothers disappeared between the trees, each carrying a box of some unknown material. He counted the seconds in his head and then reached up to the door handle and jiggled it. Frowning, he sat up and tried opening it again, but the door refused to budge. Groaning, he slid over to the driver's side and found it just as locked.

"Darn, they must have locked me in," Benny mumbled. "It's like they don't trust me or something."

He glanced around and the looked over the top of the seat. He crawled like a spider out of the front and into the back, landing crouched onto the floor in front of the seat cushions. He pulled on the handle of the door and mentally cheered as it gave way and clicked open.

As soon as the door shut behind him, he followed Good and Bad into the forest, realizing a few paces in that he had no sight of them or evidence where they could be. He frowned and squinted at the forest floor, looking for any sort of footprint or path. He grinned as he saw boot marks in the dirt and placed his foot in the first one, before trying to reach the second, groaning at the awkward stride left from copying a taller person. He gave up and followed the footsteps at his normal pace, staring down at them as he walked, not wanting to miss a single one.

"Oof!" he let out as he collided with something. He looked to spy something dark blue and trailed his eyes up the fabric to find himself staring at an older man, easily over a foot taller than him, clad in a dark blue witch's hat and a matching dress.

Intense, gunmetal eyes narrowed at him, like the gray moon lidded in shadow, though Benny couldn't help but think that the ridiculous monobrow on the man's face threw off what would be an intimidating look, and Benny cracked a small grin up at him. The smile faded as the man bent down and scooped him up, holding onto him around his chest with his arms tucked under his own, almost like a how a child would carry a teddy bear.

"Hey…" he protested, trying to squirm away, but the man ignored him and held tight. Benny frowned and glanced down, frowning at how easily the taller man could lift him clear off the ground. Usually he didn't mind being so short, but times like this…

They approached a small campsite where a small group of other "witches" waited, along with Good and Bad, all of them focused on their conversations with one another.

"Look what I found!" the man holding him called, drawing everyone else's attention. Benny could see Good gasp and Bad elbow him immediately after, and the man continued after that. "And as far as I could tell…" The man tightened his grip around him. "This little guy was following someone's footsteps right up to our coven meeting. Now, what did I tell you people about letting silly _mundanes_ find out about us, hmm? Do you _want_ another mass witch hunt? Is that it?"

"Dude, I'm pretty sure killing you guys for being witches is illegal nowadays," Benny mumbled. He looked up just as the man glared down at him, and forced a smile. "I'm Benny. Nice to meet you."

"Business," the man answered.

Benny stared for a moment. "What kind of business...?"

"No, that's my name," he replied. "Business."

"That's your _name_?" Benny asked, pulling an incredulous look. "What's your first name? Serious?"

"Wow, how'd you guess?" Business asked. "I thought you were a mundane."

"Dude, _rude_ ," Benny frowned.

"Anyway." Business looked up and around at the others. "Since we can't let him out of here knowing about us, and since this kid's so darn adorable, I think I'll keep him."

"Not a kid," Benny mumbled.

"Unless one of you want to _fess up_ and admit to telling him about us already?" Business asked, letting his eyes dart over the crowd. "Since, correct me if I'm wrong, but he seems to _already know about us_?"

"Dude, maybe I was just walking around in the woods on my own time," Benny countered. "Thought of that?"

"This far out of town?" Business asked. "And where exactly are your _parents_ , young man?"

Benny furrowed his brow but then smiled and looked around. He pointed at Good and Bad, the former of which waved his hands to stop him and the latter taking a threatening step forward.

"Bad! Good!" Business gasped as he focused his gaze on them. "You didn't tell me that you had a child! He's, what, sixteen? Did you _adopt_ him?"

"Business, sir," Bad tried to answer.

"He's thirty!" Good blurted. "We didn't adopt him, we just told him about us and took him here!"

Business hummed. "So you accidentally de-aged him and were forced to tell him about us?"

"Dude, no," Benny answered. "I look like this normally."

Business held him up and squinted at his face. "But you're so _short_!" he argued.

Benny groaned. "No, _you're_ just a giant. Put me down already!"

Business narrowed his eyes and then tucked Benny under his arm, carrying him despite his flailing. "Good. Bad. You two should know better than to tell mundanes about us. Especially the tiny ones that squirm so much. Seriously, hold still before I throw a petrifying curse on you."

Benny sighed and let himself hang from Business's arm. "Not that I believe you _can_ or anything. It'd probably just be some sort of nerve ending thing that would make me immobile, not actual magic."

"Oh…" Business sighed. "You're one of those… In that case, Bad, Good, why _didn't_ you get rid of him sooner? Is it because he's cute? I bet that's it. You think he's cute."

"He _is_ cute," Good agreed. He squeaked when Bad elbowed him and smiled sheepishly.

Benny winked and pointed a finger pistol at him. "Not so bad yourself in your matching skirts."

"Shush," Business ordered. "Alright, we wasted enough time. Did everyone bring what I asked you to?" He waved his hand and a list suddenly appeared in his grip, along with a pen that floated at the list. Benny strained his neck and saw a pair of glasses resting on Business's nose. "Alright, pig ears?" Business asked. When one of the others raised their hand, the pen check marked an item on the list. "Chicken feet? Okay great. Duck tongues? Doing good so far… Chicken intestine? Good, good…"

"Sounds like a great meal," Benny commented, glancing up at Business.

Business scoffed and jostled him softly. "Don't make fun of us just because we're witches and you're not."

Benny stared at him for a long moment before pulling a confused face. "Wait, are you _not_ going to cook and eat that stuff then?"

Business's retort caught in his throat and faded and he looked down at Benny in disgust. "Wait… Would _you_?"

"Yeah?" Benny answered, shrugging as best as he could in his position. "Dude, that's, like, _normal_ for my family. You haven't even gotten to the frogs legs and fermented cabbage or beans or the duck embryos-."

"Duck embryos?" Business asked, his voice pitched up, aghast. "What do you mean duck embryos?!"

"Well, it's called balut," Benny explained, using his hands to pantomime his words. "Basically, they take a fertilized duck egg, and they let the baby duck grow for a few days. And then they boil it alive and eat it from the shell." He chuckled and crossed his arms, shaking his head in amusement. "It's not that bad, if one of the grosser things I've tried in my life."

He glanced around and grinned wider at the disgusted looks all the other witches had, even Bad though he tried to hide it. Good looked like he was about to cry. Business let go of him suddenly, and Benny let himself float just long enough to let himself right his position and land on his feet.

"You," Business said. "You- I- _what kind of mundane are you_?"

"Asian," Benny answered, rolling his eyes. "Korean in particular, but really, I've tried all sorts of food. Look, I didn't even name the weird _European_ stuff I tried. Haggis, puffin, fermented shark." He wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue. "Never let anyone convince you to eat fermented shark. Most people could not handle that. It was delicious, though, even if it smelled _awful_. Speaking of, have you ever tried offals?"

"You are NOT normal!" Business shouted. He whipped his head towards Good and Bad and pointed Benny. "You two! Take your _boyfriend_ home! We'll just have this meeting without you this time, and _don't_ bring him again without permission!"

"Yes sir," Bad answered, pulling Good across the way to Benny.

Once they reached the shorter man's side, they each grabbed one side of him and carried him away while Benny grinned wildly and did his best not to laugh maniacally to match.

They got back to the car and set Benny down beside it. Benny looked up at them, and then flinched and curled in at their glares.

"I did bad?" he asked, smiling almost apologetically.

"Very," Bad answered, leaning over Benny.

"I have to admit," Good sighed. "You should have stayed in the car like we told you, Benny. Now _we're_ in trouble with Business because of you… And worse, you've really scared him with that stuff you were making up."

"Uh…" Benny chuckled and straightened his posture, stepping up against the car and sliding to the back doors. "A-Actually, all of that was true."

"What?" Good asked, his eyes widening. "B-But Benny, people don't actually… You wouldn't really…"

"They do, and I would," Benny answered, cringing as he said it. "Look, I've been to space before I was grounded over an accident with a space helmet. I'm kind of… y'know, adventurous. I'll try it if it won't kill me, and sometimes even if it might, like the space helmet thing showed."

"You're not lying," Bad muttered. His sunglasses slid down his nose, showing his shocked expression fully. "You're not… You actually ate… How are you a mundane? You can _not_ be a mundane."

"Why do you guys keep saying it like that?" Benny asked, furrowing his brow. "Do you know how insulting that sounds? 'Mundane', gosh, there is _nothing_ in this world that's 'mundane' when you examine it thoroughly enough. That's why I like science so much, dudes. Everything that's _ordinary_ is part of something _extraordinary_." He sighed and shook his head. "I guess that's why I followed you guys to your meeting. I just really wanted to see what exactly goes on there and maybe try to figure out how what you call magic is actually just a science so advance you don't even realize it's science."

"Aw, Benny!" Good pulled Benny into a hug and nuzzled his cheek into Benny's hair. "That's so sweet of you!"

"But still stupid," Bad added.

"Yes, still stupid," Good agreed. "You should be more considerate. You're lucky Business didn't decide to turn you into a toad to keep our secrets."

"That…" Bad frowned and hummed. "That is weird. And he seemed to really dote on you too. I haven't seen that from him since before he became our coven leader."

"Used to dote on _us_ so much," Good sighed. "Then the old leader made the split and put him in charge our coven and now we're just his right hand men…"

"Awww!" Benny giggled. "You two have a crush on him! I'm going back and telling him."

Bad caught onto Benny and threw him into the back seat of the car.

"Oof!" Benny groaned and sat up, gasping as the seat belts strapped him down. "Dude, I was kidding! I'm not going to make it worse like that!"

"Just a precaution," Good answered, looking back at him as he slipped into the passenger's seat.

"We're taking you home, and you're not going to the movies with us tonight after all," Bad continued, staring straight as he took the driver's seat. "You lost your movie watching privileges for the night."

Benny sighed and nodded. "Fair enough, dudes. Sorry 'bout that."

Good smiled at him. "We'll let you off with a warning this time. Don't do it again."

Bad started the car and drove a few yards before the vehicle lifted from the ground and took to the air again. The three of them rode in silence until Bad hummed a short note in thought.

"He said we could ask permission to bring him in the future," Bad pointed out.

"Well then," Good chuckled. "Maybe we'll take him up on that offer."

"No harm done, then?" Benny asked.

Bad and Good both looked back to glare at him, and he chuckled nervously.

"Eyes on the skies, dude," he squeaked out. He let out a sigh of relief when they turned back around. "And, look, really am sorry…"

"Say it with silence," Bad told him. "Stop talking for the rest of the trip."

Benny cringed, but nodded, and did his best to keep his mouth shut until they got him back home.


	6. Toxicity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been almost three years since the last update and boy do I have a story for you. That is to say this story, Blue Moon Witches. On a less joking note here's some explanation for what happened with this story. First, when I posted chapter five three years ago I already had up to chapter fourteen or fifteen written. Now you may be wondering why I didn't post any of those chapters. Simply put, I wanted to make sure I knew where I was going before I posted them in case I needed to change something before it happened. Which brings us to the second point: I didn't know where I was going at the time. This led to a lot of discouragement with my writing this story and instead of fixing it back then I let it fall to the wayside in lieu of original stories like my novel series Et Al (search August 2063 by Alexa Baird for the first in this series) or my webcomic Selfinsertale (available for free on smackjeeves). But then something great happened! Third: I went through the comments on my AO3 stories to reply to the more recent ones and saw three for this story alone that I answered saying how much I'd love to continue it which gave me the drive to that night sit down and spend five hours from midnight to 5 AM working out all the bugs in the plot with the chapters not yet posted, and over the next couple of days I was able to fix everything and write an actual ending to it. So that means I'm now confident enough to share the rest of the story and can promise that it will be finished barring any sort of circumstances that prevent me from posting the rest. I still have to edit the next several chapters, but here's chapter six!

Benny woke up at five AM Sunday morning, like he woke up at five AM every morning, but this time he just lay in bed, under the warmth of the covers, letting himself idle and his thoughts wander despite the toxicity he knew would occur if he let that happen. The evening before, just after the car landed in Good and Bad’s back yard, they practically dumped him out of the car and Bad motioned for him to leave, even if Good tried to stop him.

He left without a fight, glaring at the front porch light as it flickered rapidly, then slowly, then rapidly again, and made his way home and went straight to bed.

His stomach growled, having not eaten dinner the night before, but he just curled up on his side and buried his face into his pillow. He didn’t _mean_ to gross out the coven or get Good and Bad kicked out for the day. He would have thought “witches” would be more accepting of “weird” things like that. But he did break Good and Bad’s trust by trying to spy on the meeting, and he could understand why they were mad with him.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he wondered if he could just sleep for forty years. Maybe then he wouldn’t look so baby-faced, everyone would have forgotten him, and his Space Logic would be gone.

Benny rolled over and closed his eyes tight, frowning as he tried to get comfortable again. None of the _other_ astronauts had problems like this. None of the others had their helmets broken by random space junk or were forced into retirement for reasons unknown or found they could make things float like they were still on the station or met actual _witches_ with actual _magic_.

He opened his eyes suddenly and jumped up at the sound of a bell, and he sat in confusion as he absentmindedly wiped away the drool stuck to the side of his mouth. Well, that was gross, he decided as he glanced at the clock and saw it read 7:26 AM. He must have fallen back asleep.

The bell sounded again and he sighed and kicked himself out of bed, landing at his bedroom door. He stretched as he walked down the hallway to the front door and the moment he reached it, he threw it wide open it without any concern.

His eyes met with a smart gray business suit, and he followed it up to the tall man’s face, the gray eyes and monobrow clearly familiar and the rust-red curls atop his head evident without the witch hat.

“Wow, you’re less adorable when you first wake up, aren’t you?” Business asked, frowning at him.

“Wow, you’re really blunt and rude, aren’t you?” Benny retorted on a yawn. “What are you doing here...? How did you find my house?”

“I asked Bad, and he told me it was the tiny blue one on Cherry Tree,” Business answered, scoffing. He peered over Benny into the house. “Does it even _have_ more than one bath or bedroom? I’m surprised you have an indoor and outdoor garage, since they really should have made the inside one part of the main living area.”

Benny stared for a long moment. “I’ll shut the door on you if you don’t tell me what you’re doing here, just so you know.”

“I wanted to see you,” Business shrugged. “Are you going to invite me in or not?”

“Or not,” Benny answered. “Why did you want to see _me_? Are you going ‘turn me into a toad’? Good and Bad aren’t in trouble, are they? It wasn’t their fault, it was mine.”

Business crossed his arms. “Well, if you’re not going to invite me in, I don’t see why I should answer your questions.”

“That’s fine with me,” Benny nodded. He slammed the door in the man’s face and headed into the kitchen for breakfast, ignoring the bell as it rang over and over. He just poured his cereal when he heard a popping noise, and turned around to see Business walk into the kitchen.

“And you call _me_ rude,” Business frowned.

“You’re the one who came in uninvited,” Benny sighed. “Look, if you’re mad at me about yesterday...”

“You’re eating normal cereal I see,” Business pointed out.

Benny stared at him. “Yeah, that is a thing I’m doing. Dude, I don’t eat the stuff I mentioned _all_ the time.”

“You need milk for that?” Business asked, producing a glass bottle. “I want to see if you’d eat _this_.”

He sighed again. “Is it poisonous?”

“What? No, why would it—?”

“Will it give me any digestive or bowel movement problems?”

“No, you— you’re gross.”

“Does it have some weird magic side effect?”

Business rolled his eyes. “It’s a spell component, not a potion. It can’t do anything on its own, any more than flour tastes like a cake.”

“What _is_ it, though?” Benny asked.

“Batmilk,” Business answered, pulling a look of disgust. “I got it from someone in another coven who raises bats. I don’t know _how_ he milks them enough to have a full bottle, but...”

“Give it here,” Benny said, holding out his hand. As soon as he had the bottle, he uncapped it and poured it into his cereal. He grabbed a spoon and took a quick bite.

“Well?” Business demanded.

Benny shrugged. “Kind of weird, but not bad.” He ignored the nauseous look Business took on and put the batmilk into the fridge before sitting down with his cereal to continue eating. “So...” he said between bites. “You’re not going to feed me weird things just to find what I will and won’t eat, will you? Don’t try, dude, that’s just bogus.”

“You _like_ the batmilk,” Business mumbled. “ _Nobody_ likes the batmilk. What kind of mundane _are_ you?”

“Stop _calling_ me that, dude,” Benny growled as he shoveled another spoonful of food into his mouth.

“You have too much power in your tiny body,” Business continued to rave, digging his fingers into his hair in horror. “You already won over both Good _and_ Bad, and you have _me_ fascinated too! ME. And they didn’t make me coven leader for nothing, let me tell you!”

“Are you done?” Benny sighed. “Geeze, man, I’m not even the weirdest person out there. What, am I the first ‘mundane’ you ever talked to or something?”

“I don’t think there’s anyone weirder than _you_ ,” Business frowned. He sat down at the table and stared at Benny as he ate.

Benny glanced up at him and then dropped his spoon into his bowl. “ _What_?” he demanded.

“Are you _sure_ you’re not magic?” Business asked, narrowing his eyes. “That would explain a whole lot about you. Maybe you are and just don’t realize...”

“Dude, no,” Benny groaned. “I’m not magic. If I could do anything you’d describe as magic, I’m pretty sure there’d be a scientific explanation for it, given enough time and research to actually explain it.”

“Come oooon,” Business whined. “Bad said they’ve shown you some magic and took you for rides in their flying car. _Twice!_ How can you even _say_ that? It’s obviously magic!”

“Did Bad tell you that he and Good have a crush on you and are disappointed you don’t dote on them anymore like you did with me yesterday?” Benny asked, focusing on his cereal again.

“What?” Business frowned. “No, why would he tell me that?”

“Because he and Good have a crush on you and are disappointed you don’t dote on them anymore like you did with me yesterday,” Benny replied.

Business shook his head. “That’s not true. You’re just trying to get rid of me.”

Benny smiled. “Why can’t it be both true and an attempt to get rid of you?”

“Seriously?” he asked.

“I thought you said you’re Serious Business,” Benny countered. “Not Serious Lee.”

“Oh _haha_ ,” Business uttered with a roll of his eyes. “You know, it’s weird, I thought they had a crush on _you_.”

“What?” Benny wrinkled his nose. “Why would they?”

“Oh, you know,” Business smirked. “Letting you know about them. Keeping you in their lives when they could easily get rid of you. Risking getting in trouble taking you to coven meeting, even if they so foolishly thought you’d actually stay in the car. And Good _did_ say he thinks you’re cute.”

He shook his head. “Dude, I’ve only known them for, like, a week.”

“I’ve known you for less than twenty-four hours,” Business shrugged.

Benny shot him an incredulous look. “Dude! Didn’t you think I was _sixteen_ yesterday?”

“But you aren’t, and I only gained interest in you today, so it’s not a problem,” Business shrugged nonchalantly. “Now, come on. I know you don’t know _me_ at all, but what do you think of the other two?”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Benny murmured.

“Oh, they’re not _that_ bad, are they?” Business scoffed.

“No, I mean literally,” Benny answered, groaning.

Business scooted away. “Uh... Throwy-uppy sick or...?”

“Nah man, I’m not gonna ralph or anything.” Benny gripped his head and shut his eyes tight. “I just have a major headache right now.”

“Oh.” Business tapped his fingers against the table. “Maybe you’re cursed,” he suggested.

“I am _not_ cursed,” Benny muttered. “You’re not helping here. Just get out.”

“Are you sure?” Business asked. “I know some things that could—”

“Get. Out.”

“Sheesh, okay, fine.” Business sighed and shook his head. “Not my fault if you get worse because you really _are_ cursed, so you know.”

With another pop, Business disappeared, leaving nothing but an empty chair. Benny stuck the rest of his breakfast into the fridge and then let himself float into the living room. He hovered over the couch and then dropped straight onto it.

“I _hate_ today,” he mumbled under his breath as he let his hand search around the table for the remote to his sound system. He found it on the third try and then turned the system on, letting his favorite 80s songs play as the soundtrack to his pounding head.

He didn’t want to sleep again so soon, but he soon found his eyelids growing heavy and quickly lost awareness of the world around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a special thanks to the three commenters who gave me the drive to work on this story again! Meme, Sequoia D. and Eternally_Exhausted, thank you for you comments and your patience. I hope this was worth the wait.


	7. Seven Letter Word

It took him a moment to realize the hand on his forehead wasn’t his own, and he sat up quickly, staring at the other person as they held up their hands in defense.

“It’s just me,” Good told him, smiling comfortingly. “Relax. Tea?”

“Kind?” Benny asked.

“Chamomile,” Good passed over a mug. “We picked some up on the way. It should help with your headache, if you still have it.”

Benny nodded and sipped the tea, glancing up to the clock across from him. 9:38 AM. Not too long after he fell back asleep again, but he still wasted over four hours... “Business tell you I wasn’t feeling well?”

“Actually, he told us you were cursed,” Bad answered as he walked from the kitchen carrying a bowl and a spoon. “ _Then_ we got him to tell us the actual problem.” He set the bowl on the coffee table and then took a seat beside Benny and pointed to the bowl. “Ginger soup. You eat weird enough things, so you should be able to handle ginger.”

“Thank you,” Benny smiled as he switched the tea for the soup. “You two mad at me at all? About yesterday or about telling Business you guys have a crush on him?”

Bad sighed. “That explains his smug look when he showed up at our place.”

Good shook his head and slipped into the space on the opposite side of Benny. “No, we’re not mad. Are you alright, though?”

Benny slurped the soup and then nodded. “Yeah, I am. Just had a really rough morning. Business didn’t really help much, y’know?”

“Yeah, he’s...” Bad hummed and shook his head. “Brash. He’s not a bad person, though...”

“Not _too_ bad, anyway,” Good murmured.

“I heard that,” Business called from the kitchen.

Benny rolled his eyes. “Y’know, he said you two have a crush on me too.”

Bad glared towards the kitchen, and Good laughed nervously.

“W-Well, you _are_ adorable,” Good replied. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Business has a crush on you too.”

“He does,” Benny answered tersely, pursing his lips after.

Business popped his head around the corner, frowning at them. “Well, don’t sound so _disappointed_ on _my_ behalf.”

Benny shook his head. “Get in here already. There’s room for four people.” He set down his empty bowl as Business walked up to him, and Bad scooted towards the end of the couch to give Business room. Benny squeaked as Business picked him up and then sat down, pulling him onto his lap. “Dude, really?”

Business sighed and draped his arms over Good and Bad, tugging them in close. “You know, from how he described it, I always thought it’d be a harem, but this isn’t bad either.”

The three of them looked up at Business with affronted looks. Business glanced around and then shook his head.

“No, no, I mean...” he sighed. “Vitruvius and his stupid prophecies, remember? Well, not you, Benny, but the other two. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but it was about this, I’m sure.”

“What, that you’d get three boyfriends in the same day?” Benny frowned. “You realize I _just met you yesterday_ , right?”

Good wrapped his arms around Benny. “Benny, love, you realize you aren’t protesting being on his lap, right?”

Benny nodded. “I know, yeah. Busy, we _are_ going to go on some dates before officially being boyfriends, right?”

“Sure, if you want to be boring about it,” Business answered. “Good, you’re okay with it?”

Good nodded. “Yes.”

“Bad?” he asked, turning his head. He frowned and furrowed his monobrow at Bad’s shocked, red face. “Bad, _breathe_ , will you?”

Bad took a deep breath and then buried his face into Benny’s arm. “This is _not_ what I was expecting at all.”

“We’re not going to make big deal about this, right?” Benny asked. “I mean, if this is something we’re deciding in like two seconds, I rather it not be a major deal. That’d be totally bunk.”

“I see no reason to,” Good agreed. “I’m sure we could go on as normal, just closer.”

“Please,” Bad nearly begged.

“Fine, if we have to,” Business sighed. “You know, this isn’t really normal?”

“As if being ‘witches’ is normal?” Benny countered. “But, really, let go. I need to shower, and then I have like five things people want me to help them with today, and it’s Sunday so the kids will probably stop by for another story later and I hate disappointing them and they wanted to know about life on the space station...”

“Space station?” Business asked. He gasped. “Oh! You’re that astronaut guy that moved in a while ago that people keep talking about. Well _that_ explains why you’re so weird.”

Bad sat up and frowned. “How does that explain his weirdness?”

“You know,” Business shrugged. “Any mundane that would willingly leave the Earth and live in _space_ would _have_ to be stranger than the other mundanes. He’s probably used to all that weird space food, so he’s willing to eat gross things too.”

“Can I _please_ shower now?” Benny groaned.

Good let go of him. “We’ll wait for you here.”

Benny hopped off of Business’s lap and then climbed over his coffee table before bounding to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

The three of them let out sighs of relief, and Good and Bad both sunk into Business’s sides.

“Wow, _that_ was a close one,” Business winced. “I’m glad we didn’t have to stray too far from the plan. Right, Bad?” He looked down and frowned at him.

Bad shook his head. “Sorry, sir, I forgot that _touching_ was part of the plan. Still, I’m surprised Benny was so receptive to the idea. You brought it up with us so suddenly, and I expected him to be worse about it, considering.”

“We really ought not to underestimate him,” Good offered. “He keeps surprising us like this.”

“It was a surprise to know you two like me,” Business scoffed. “I had to be told by a mundane of all people. Still, he _is_ cute. Bring him to coven meetings anytime, just make sure he doesn’t gross everyone out again.”

“Are you going to tell him that you actually did cast a spell on him?” Good asked. “To induce sleep long enough for you to get us?”

Bad frowned. “Good, do you really think he’d believe that’s the case?”

“Yes,” Good answered. “And then he’d ask how it was done so he can figure out a scientific reason for it. Don’t forget, it’s not that he thinks magic isn’t real, he just thinks it’s not actually magic.”

Bad sighed. “That reminds me, Business, sir.”

“You don’t have to call me ‘sir’, Bad,” Business groaned.

“Sorry,” he shrugged. “But a week ago, we found out why Benny had to return to Earth and move here. Apparently, something hit and broke his space helmet during the night of the blue moon earlier this year.”

“You’re kidding!” Business chuckled. “Wow, that’s a coincidence. The same night our coven split from Vitruvius’s, huh?”

“Business,” Good frowned. “If that happened on the same night, and he’s in a relationship with us now, what if it isn’t a coincidence?”

Bad shook his head. “How could it not be? He’s not magic like us. Unless whatever hit his helmet was involved, which I doubt.”

Good sighed, but then smiled again. “I suppose you’re right. It’s not like any of us found some mysterious space matter that night was it?”

“Nooo, of course not,” Business answered. He let go of the two of them to straighten his tie. “Who said anything about the Kragle, I mean I know _I_ didn’t.”

Bad and Good shared a look, but before they could say anything, Benny walked back into the room, dressed in work clothes and drying his hair with a towel.

“So, by the way, what’s a Kragle?” Benny asked, smiling. He lost the smile and glanced from Good and Bad’s annoyed expressions to Business’s worried one. “What? What happened?”

“Why do you want to know what a Kragle is?” Business asked.

Benny shrugged. “It sounded weird when Good and Bad told me your coven’s name. ‘Order of the Kragle’ really, what _is_ that, dude?”

“It’s...” Business cleared his throat and turned his nose up, crossing his arms and knees indignantly. “It’s just a word I came up with. I’m a coven leader. I’m allowed. It’s part of the job. Coming up with words.”

“Business, _did_ it come from space?” Bad asked, lifting his brow stoically.

“Well...” Business glanced around at all of them, finding each of them crossing their arms and almost glaring at him. He sighed. “ _Maybe_ it did. Maybe it didn’t. I’m not a space guy. I wouldn’t know.”

“I’m a space guy,” Benny countered. “I could look at it. I could tell you where to send it to know if it is from space. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is _so_ a big deal,” Business frowned. “I found it, so it’s mine, and I’m not giving it up.”

“Business, please,” Good said, resting his hand on Business’s arm. “We’re just curious...”

“Well, tough,” Business answered. “I’m not telling you anything about it.”

“Fine with me,” Benny shrugged. “I don’t really care anyway.”

Business frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

Benny tossed his towel into his room and went to the garage. “It’s probably not from space anyway,” he called as he disappeared through the door. “Probably just some lame Earth thing.”

“It’s not lame,” Business muttered.

“Besides, I have things I need to do today.” Benny came back out, carrying a toolbox. “I already wasted too much time today, so I need to get going. You three can come with me if you want, but you’ll need to stay out of the way, since I’m assuming you only know how to use magic to build or fix things.”

“Well, _yeah_ ,” Business frowned. “It’s faster and easier. But you really don’t want to know about the Kragle? It’s _really_ cool stuff.”

Benny set down the toolbox and grabbed his hoodie from a hook on the wall and pulled it over his head. “Well, you don’t want to tell me anything about it, so...”

“Never mind him, Benny, love,” Good giggled. “We don’t need to know. I’d love to come watch you work again.”

Bad nodded and stood up. “It’s probably not important or anything. It’s probably just some random thing he found in the woods.”

“It is not!” Business argued. He stood up, staring helplessly as Good and Bad followed Benny to the door. “Now hold on, don’t just leave me here!”

“No one’s stopping you from staying,” Benny sighed, rolling his eyes. “You can let yourself out, right?”

Benny shut the door behind them and motioned for them to wait. They looked up after a small pop, and Business frowned at them, his hands on his hips accusingly. Benny smirked and pulled his keys out to lock the door and then led the way down the street, Business following behind them angrily.

“It’s totally cool,” Business insisted. “All mysterious and whatever. How can you not want to know?”

“If you’re not going to tell is, there’s no point in asking about it,” Good answered.

“You’re not going to ask at all?” Business groaned. “Bad, you want to know _something_ don’t you?”

Bad shook his head. “Nah. I’m fine, sir.”

“Benny, I thought they said you were all about knowing how things worked?”

“If I’m never going to encounter it, I don’t have to worry about it,” Benny laughed.

“Fine!” Business growled. “I’ll prove you guys wrong! Next coven meeting, bring _Spaceboy_ here, and I’ll show everyone the Kragle!”

“Well, if you really want to,” Good chuckled, shaking his head.

“Alright,” Benny called, stopping. “This is the first house. Mr. Frederickson wants help putting together a new shed.”

Business rolled his eyes. “So you went from being an astronaut to being the neighborhood handyman? What exactly does this pay?”

“It doesn’t,” Benny mumbled, walking up the path to the front door.

Bad furrowed his brow. “What do you mean it _doesn’t_? Didn’t you say you were paid for tiling the other day?”

“Because Miss Dale insisted, that’s all,” Benny answered. He checked the note taped to the door and then walked to the side of the porch and hopped over the railing to the ground below. “Not home,” he told them. “Said everything’s out back if I want to get started.”

Business hurried after Benny while Good and Bad scrambled off the porch to follow. “Wait, Benny, how exactly are you _living_ if you’re not getting paid?”

Benny groaned. “Okay, do _you_ guys have jobs?”

“Not mundane jobs,” Good frowned. “But we do have a source of income in exchange for our work as witches.”

“You live on a barter system, don’t you?” Benny asked, flattening his brow at them. “Chairs’re over there.” He pointed to the plastic lawn chairs nearby and then wandered over to the supplies on the back wall of the house.

“No!” Business scoffed. He cringed at the grime on the chairs and chose to stand next to them as Bad sat down and Good wiped his down before sitting. “Look,” he continued. “My name is _Business_. I know how stupid a barter system is. I also know how to monetize my coven’s work. I can only wonder how ol’ Vitruvius is doing without me organizing _their_ work and payments.”

Benny laughed as he started his work. “You’re kidding! Magic’s a _business_? Your coven’s are practically mini-companies?”  

“You’re getting off the point!” Business argued. “How do _you_ get paid?”

“Retirement funds, dude,” Benny answered, sighing in annoyance. “It’s a ‘mundane’ thing.”

“Can’t be much then,” Business rolled his eyes. “Why would you live in such a small house if you don’t— Wait, that’s _it_ , isn’t it? You’re poor!”

“Business,” Good warned softly, looking up from his crossword puzzle.

“I’m _not_ poor,” Benny groaned. “If I was, I’d probably be asking for money for doing this stuff.”

“Why don’t you anyway?” Bad asked, eyes trained to his sudoku book.

Benny paused what he was doing and looked over at the other. “I dunno. I like having something to do, and it helps people out, so that’s fine with me. Now, _shut up_ so I can get this thing finished.”

Business sighed and walked over to Good. He picked him up and sat down, pulling Good into his lap. “He’s building that shed awfully fast,” he murmured as he smoothed down Good’s wild hair.

“Yes, we noticed that before,” Good mused. “Seven letter word for ‘peculiar’.”

“Strange,” Bad answered.

“Thank you,” Good chimed as he wrote down the word.

“I’d say the same thing about our so-called mundane friend,” Business said, narrowing his eyes at Benny. “I know what I said about him being weird because he’s an astronaut... But what if you’re right and he might be connected to the Kragle somehow?”

“We won’t know unless we actually see the Kragle,” Bad reminded.

Sighing, Business hugged Good tighter. “Fine, next Saturday. Promise.”


End file.
